Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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