im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This baby is an asshole
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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