I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
