I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
