we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
