S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Less talking, more tequila
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
