She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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