defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
