If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
