Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
