he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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