I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
