im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am naked and annoyed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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