Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize