So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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