grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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