8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
