I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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