Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i think im in europe. pls send help
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
