listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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