I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
