It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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