I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
a search helicopter?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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