You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
