He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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