zippers are such a cool invention
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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