I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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