I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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