I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize