So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
