just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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