anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
