it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Those nachos came to me in a dream
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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