This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
