you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There r osticjed everywhere
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
