At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
