Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
