Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
