video games are the ultimate cock blocker
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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