in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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