Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You are a booty call, not a friend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
