Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
