..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
