What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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