Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
