Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
