I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
nutella sex= disaster
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
