im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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