ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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