This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The best revenge is premature balding
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
