I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Found your dick twin last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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