There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think I won the penis lottery.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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