We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
