I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
