i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We left an ass print on the piano.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I supernannyed him into submission
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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