last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
