Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
