Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize