Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
