why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Couch. On fire.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
