I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
