My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize