next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My orgasm happened in two different decades
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize