Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm too high and old for this...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
