So drunk its hurt
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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