so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
