I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize